Today is a good day. I mean I'm sick. I feel like shit. I did look cute though. Camo pants, burgundy shirt, and my hair in a bun. :). But I wasn't sad today. I wouldn't say I was happy but I wasn't depressed like I have been. It has to start somewhere. It's like Sara Evans song... "I'm getting a little bit stronger. Just a little bit stronger."
I may post again later. Maybe a picture and song.
Until Next Time.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Moving On is Never Easy
Moving on is never easy. I'm going to screw up. I'm going to say something I'll regret. It's all part of the process though.
I'm really trying to get positive about this whole situation. It's just going to take time. Having someone as yours for 2 years then having to go back to just friends isn't easy. I know I can do it.
Just bare with me for a bit. :)
Friends
I truly have the best friends in the world. They have stuck with me through so much and are as patient as a saint. I love them all and am so sorry the last few months have been so rough. I know my being constantly upset over guys couldn't have been fun. So I promise that we are on the upside of that finally. Hopefully any guy talk will be good from now on. I just have to meet some guys first though. So I'd like to take this chance to thank you all.
Emily- You are always there for me. I really enjoy our lunches together and the occasional shopping and photography trips. You truly are a great friend and you have no idea how lucky I consider myself to still have you as a friend. Thank you for always being there, for offering your advice, and for loving to take pictures. LOL. By the way... 120 days!!!
Veronica- I love you. I feel like I need to be there for you more. You're always there for me. I know that I can come to you for unbiased advice and I treasure that greatly. I can't wait til we hang out next, lots to catch up on.
Sarah M.- Girl we need to hang out! I miss you. Thanks for talking to me on Facebook when I'm up late and can't sleep. Also, thanks for always texting back quickly. :)
Sarah G.- I really hope we get to meet in person someday. We seem to have a lot in common. Thanks for always letting me vent. I'm always here you need to too. I hope you and Josh find an amazing house in NC. Kodi needs a big yard to cause trouble in. lol
Kathy- I'm glad you and Chris are night owls. Thanks for being on facebook for the occasional late night vent.
Jesse- I really had a lot of fun hanging out with you. I wish you would have stuck around though. I know I could have treated you differently. I should have always said what was on my mind. Thank you for always listening and offering your opinion. I was just too blind to see it. :( I hope that you change your mind and decide to give me another chance.
Jeff- This one was hard to write. There really is a lot that I could say but I'm going to stick to the basics ;). Thank you for everything. Thanks for some wonderful memories. Thank you for always being so patient and understanding. Any man that remains patient while clothing shopping with me, really is great. LOL. I hope I set the bar high for the next girl because you set it high for me for the next guy. I know that you are right though, someone great will eventually come along for me. I'm glad that through it all we are still friends. You are one of my best friends and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to sometimes. Now I have a guys opinion and view on things :)
Emily- You are always there for me. I really enjoy our lunches together and the occasional shopping and photography trips. You truly are a great friend and you have no idea how lucky I consider myself to still have you as a friend. Thank you for always being there, for offering your advice, and for loving to take pictures. LOL. By the way... 120 days!!!
Veronica- I love you. I feel like I need to be there for you more. You're always there for me. I know that I can come to you for unbiased advice and I treasure that greatly. I can't wait til we hang out next, lots to catch up on.
Sarah M.- Girl we need to hang out! I miss you. Thanks for talking to me on Facebook when I'm up late and can't sleep. Also, thanks for always texting back quickly. :)
Sarah G.- I really hope we get to meet in person someday. We seem to have a lot in common. Thanks for always letting me vent. I'm always here you need to too. I hope you and Josh find an amazing house in NC. Kodi needs a big yard to cause trouble in. lol
Kathy- I'm glad you and Chris are night owls. Thanks for being on facebook for the occasional late night vent.
Jesse- I really had a lot of fun hanging out with you. I wish you would have stuck around though. I know I could have treated you differently. I should have always said what was on my mind. Thank you for always listening and offering your opinion. I was just too blind to see it. :( I hope that you change your mind and decide to give me another chance.
Jeff- This one was hard to write. There really is a lot that I could say but I'm going to stick to the basics ;). Thank you for everything. Thanks for some wonderful memories. Thank you for always being so patient and understanding. Any man that remains patient while clothing shopping with me, really is great. LOL. I hope I set the bar high for the next girl because you set it high for me for the next guy. I know that you are right though, someone great will eventually come along for me. I'm glad that through it all we are still friends. You are one of my best friends and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to sometimes. Now I have a guys opinion and view on things :)
Unfriended... really?
I had not really done this yet. I'd been putting it off. I didn't think it was real. Here it is a week later though and still no word from you. I guess it's serious. It's just something I never thought you would do. I really thought you were different, better. I was wrong though. No matter the reasoning behind it, how could you think that completely cutting me out of your life was a good thing? Why is it always the guys who get to make those decisions? Why can't it ever be mutual? How does this make you so much different and better like you claimed? It doesn't.
If your goal was to piss me off, then you have succeeded. This is just childish.
How is it that you liked me so much and all of a sudden you're gone without a word? I seriously was having a great time getting to know you and was excited to get to know you better. I really wanted to. You know how some people claim to know someone is they're one shortly after just meeting them? To be 100% honest, I was actually becoming one of those people. I'm an incredibly picky and easily annoyed person. In the four months that I have known you, I've found only one thing that I didn't like about you. One thing that honestly, I think you'll grow out of. That's a huge thing for me. Generally, everyone has a ton of things that I don't like about them. Just trust me on that.
What am I though? Why nothing more than a hopeless romantic. I can't help it. I've always been that way I suppose. Perhaps that's all that I ever will be. I just wish I knew why you did this to me. Why you dropped me cold with no reason at all. I've done everything besides show up to your door trying to figure it out. So just man up and tell me what's up!! Until you do, I don't know if I can get over you. I don't know if I want to.
If your goal was to piss me off, then you have succeeded. This is just childish.
How is it that you liked me so much and all of a sudden you're gone without a word? I seriously was having a great time getting to know you and was excited to get to know you better. I really wanted to. You know how some people claim to know someone is they're one shortly after just meeting them? To be 100% honest, I was actually becoming one of those people. I'm an incredibly picky and easily annoyed person. In the four months that I have known you, I've found only one thing that I didn't like about you. One thing that honestly, I think you'll grow out of. That's a huge thing for me. Generally, everyone has a ton of things that I don't like about them. Just trust me on that.
What am I though? Why nothing more than a hopeless romantic. I can't help it. I've always been that way I suppose. Perhaps that's all that I ever will be. I just wish I knew why you did this to me. Why you dropped me cold with no reason at all. I've done everything besides show up to your door trying to figure it out. So just man up and tell me what's up!! Until you do, I don't know if I can get over you. I don't know if I want to.
Monday, October 11, 2010
To Do Nothing
You know those days when you know that you have a TON of stuff that you should be doing but you don't feel like doing any of it. Well, today is one of those days for me. I'm sitting here on the couch watching The Vampire's Assistant. I'm not doing anything productive. I am, however, hungry. I'd really like so chips and salsa right now actually. Maybe it's not a bad thing though. Maybe all I need is to do nothing though. To just sit around on the couch and forget the last week. Too bad I can't do that today though... perhaps tomorrow.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Drama, Drama, Drama
I would say this weekend was really relaxing and just what I needed, but that would be a lie. That's what this weekend should have been. It should have made me forget all of this stupid drama going on in my life. I really do hate drama. I feel like I'm back in freaking high school and I was not crazy about high school.
Sometimes I wonder what is up with all of this. Why do I let myself get here and why do I put up with it?
Anyway though, I have a Spanish test in the morning. Off to bed for me. I'm planning on going to Starbucks to study since I really only have to show up to my first class long enough to turn in my work. :) I'm sure if I take my laptop I'll get bored and post there.
Until Next Time.
Sometimes I wonder what is up with all of this. Why do I let myself get here and why do I put up with it?
Anyway though, I have a Spanish test in the morning. Off to bed for me. I'm planning on going to Starbucks to study since I really only have to show up to my first class long enough to turn in my work. :) I'm sure if I take my laptop I'll get bored and post there.
Until Next Time.
Tell Me Why
I thought I finally had it all figured out.
I thought I knew what I wanted.
I've had a great time with you.
I had figured out you were what I wanted.
I knew I wouldn't be in this situation with you.
So when I decided to make my decision you were on my mind.
You have been on my mind since.
But what am I supposed to do now?
Now that I am here without you?
This is what you wanted and is what I want.
So why do you ignore me?
Why do you hurt me so?
Just tell me why!
I thought I knew what I wanted.
I've had a great time with you.
I had figured out you were what I wanted.
I knew I wouldn't be in this situation with you.
So when I decided to make my decision you were on my mind.
You have been on my mind since.
But what am I supposed to do now?
Now that I am here without you?
This is what you wanted and is what I want.
So why do you ignore me?
Why do you hurt me so?
Just tell me why!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
A Wondering Mind
As I sat in Biology today, learning first about cancer then about sex and finally about genetics; I wondered well.... a lot of things. I decided to share.
1.) Jeff, just in general.
2.) Jesse's great run on his PT test this morning... congrats!!
3.) OMG... I have cancer. You'd have to know me to really understand this one.
4.) How when you eat an apple or orange you are eating an ovary (learned that today).
5.) The Air Force once again crossed my mind. I think it'd have a lot to off, I just don't know if I could do it courtesy of my knees.
6.) "Me are sperm machines." Yes, this is the type of stuff my BIO teacher says. Another great quote of the day was "I'm never going to be a Golden God."
7.) Halloween and what I want to do. I really want to party and go out. Oh or someone could just throw a Halloween party. I'd go to that too!! :)
8.) The fact that the instructor was sick, could barely talk, and still wouldn't release us early.
9.) I don't have any fun apps on my phone... suggestions??
10.) My belly ring was kind of sore and I thought of doing a salt soak when I got home (which I did).
Haha. Yes, this is a general day in biology for me. My mind is everywhere but where it should be. Maybe that explains why this is my second time taking biology. No worries though, there won't be a third time.
1.) Jeff, just in general.
2.) Jesse's great run on his PT test this morning... congrats!!
3.) OMG... I have cancer. You'd have to know me to really understand this one.
4.) How when you eat an apple or orange you are eating an ovary (learned that today).
5.) The Air Force once again crossed my mind. I think it'd have a lot to off, I just don't know if I could do it courtesy of my knees.
6.) "Me are sperm machines." Yes, this is the type of stuff my BIO teacher says. Another great quote of the day was "I'm never going to be a Golden God."
7.) Halloween and what I want to do. I really want to party and go out. Oh or someone could just throw a Halloween party. I'd go to that too!! :)
8.) The fact that the instructor was sick, could barely talk, and still wouldn't release us early.
9.) I don't have any fun apps on my phone... suggestions??
10.) My belly ring was kind of sore and I thought of doing a salt soak when I got home (which I did).
Haha. Yes, this is a general day in biology for me. My mind is everywhere but where it should be. Maybe that explains why this is my second time taking biology. No worries though, there won't be a third time.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Here Without You
Today's song of the day is...
Here Without You by 3 Doors Down
Heard it in a store today and just been stuck in my head since.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPBzTxZQG5Q
Here Without You by 3 Doors Down
Heard it in a store today and just been stuck in my head since.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPBzTxZQG5Q
Wondering
Quite often I sit around wondering what has become of my life. It's not a horrid thing just a change. I've always known what I'm going to do. I'm a researcher, a planner. It's who I am. Now I don't know. Maybe that's a good thing though. For now I will try not to worry about it. Haha, me not worry? I know, that's crazy.
Right now I need to be worrying about well, 1.) My computer class that I'm sitting here in and 2.) My psych test that I haven't even started on yet. Yikes because it's due next Tuesday. I'll finish it though, just in the style of a procrastinator.
Right now I need to be worrying about well, 1.) My computer class that I'm sitting here in and 2.) My psych test that I haven't even started on yet. Yikes because it's due next Tuesday. I'll finish it though, just in the style of a procrastinator.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
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