This Week

I've had a great past few days. I've been hanging with friends in the evening and although it sucks that we can't seem to all get together at once I've a blast. I've had great food. A blast with true friends. I've made a fool of myself. I've probably ruined a good thing somehow. But hey, I guess you only live once. At least that's what Emily reminded me that I told her a few months ago. You can't be afraid and you can't hold onto the past. The best thing to do is to put yourself out there. Your whole self. Sure you leave yourself wide open for disappointment, heartache, and everything else but if you don't put your whole self out there then how will you ever find what you're truly looking for? So, I guess I need to follow my own advice for now.

Been A Long Time

So I've been slacking again with my blog. Sorry all. I can't even promise that I'll do better. I doubt that I'll post while on vacation next week. I'll try to get a good one up before I leave though. Maybe something deep. I don't know though. We'll have to see what comes to mind whenever I do it. :)
I've had the best week so far. Last night my friends and I all went to Aaron's apartment for an early Thanksgiving dinner. OMG it was fun. I haven't just relaxed and been myself like that in I don't even know how long. It shouldn't take that for me to be myself though. So last night gave me a new goal. Be Me and not worry what anyone else thinks. I mean for Pete's sake, I professed my crush to Aaron. LOL Anyone who knows me knows that, that was out of character. But I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines and just crushing without doing anything. So from now on, that's going to become the norm. I already can't wait until the next time we all get together. It's going to be a blast.

Friends

I truly have the best friends in the world. They have stuck with me through so much and are as patient as a saint. I love them all and am so sorry the last few months have been so rough. I know my being constantly upset over guys couldn't have been fun. So I promise that we are on the upside of that finally. Hopefully any guy talk will be good from now on. I just have to meet some guys first though. So I'd like to take this chance to thank you all.
Emily- You are always there for me. I really enjoy our lunches together and the occasional shopping and photography trips. You truly are a great friend and you have no idea how lucky I consider myself to still have you as a friend. Thank you for always being there, for offering your advice, and for loving to take pictures. LOL. By the way... 120 days!!!
Veronica- I love you. I feel like I need to be there for you more. You're always there for me. I know that I can come to you for unbiased advice and I treasure that greatly. I can't wait til we hang out next, lots to catch up on.
Sarah M.- Girl we need to hang out! I miss you. Thanks for talking to me on Facebook when I'm up late and can't sleep. Also, thanks for always texting back quickly. :)
Sarah G.- I really hope we get to meet in person someday. We seem to have a lot in common. Thanks for always letting me vent. I'm always here you need to too. I hope you and Josh find an amazing house in NC. Kodi needs a big yard to cause trouble in. lol
Kathy- I'm glad you and Chris are night owls. Thanks for being on facebook for the occasional late night vent.
Jesse- I really had a lot of fun hanging out with you. I wish you would have stuck around though. I know I could have treated you differently. I should have always said what was on my mind. Thank you for always listening and offering your opinion. I was just too blind to see it. :( I hope that you change your mind and decide to give me another chance.
Jeff- This one was hard to write. There really is a lot that I could say but I'm going to stick to the basics ;). Thank you for everything. Thanks for some wonderful memories. Thank you for always being so patient and understanding. Any man that remains patient while clothing shopping with me, really is great. LOL. I hope I set the bar high for the next girl because you set it high for me for the next guy. I know that you are right though, someone great will eventually come along for me. I'm glad that through it all we are still friends. You are one of my best friends and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to sometimes. Now I have a guys opinion and view on things :)

Unfriended... really?

I had not really done this yet. I'd been putting it off. I didn't think it was real. Here it is a week later though and still no word from you. I guess it's serious. It's just something I never thought you would do. I really thought you were different, better. I was wrong though. No matter the reasoning behind it, how could you think that completely cutting me out of your life was a good thing? Why is it always the guys who get to make those decisions? Why can't it ever be mutual? How does this make you so much different and better like you claimed? It doesn't.
If your goal was to piss me off, then you have succeeded. This is just childish.
How is it that you liked me so much and all of a sudden you're gone without a word? I seriously was having a great time getting to know you and was excited to get to know you better. I really wanted to. You know how some people claim to know someone is they're one shortly after just meeting them? To be 100% honest, I was actually becoming one of those people. I'm an incredibly picky and easily annoyed person. In the four months that I have known you, I've found only one thing that I didn't like about you. One thing that honestly, I think you'll grow out of. That's a huge thing for me. Generally, everyone has a ton of things that I don't like about them. Just trust me on that.
What am I though? Why nothing more than a hopeless romantic. I can't help it. I've always been that way I suppose. Perhaps that's all that I ever will be. I just wish I knew why you did this to me. Why you dropped me cold with no reason at all. I've done everything besides show up to your door trying to figure it out. So just man up and tell me what's up!! Until you do, I don't know if I can get over you. I don't know if I want to.

Always a Positive

Today was a pretty good day. Work went by relatively fast and I got an extra hour in. It was A LOT busier than it was supposed to be though. Chelsea and I were not prepared. Hopefully tomorrow will be different. Neither one of us likes it when it's super busy, although it does help the time go by a lot faster. Always a positive to every negative right (me trying to be more positive. lol)? :)
Then, I came home and ate my sandwich. I watched the last episode in season 2 of True Blood. OMG!!! It was an intense episode! I think I'm in love with it though. I just want to see season 3 already. Is that the current season by any chance? Am I going to have to wait forever for it to come out on DVD?? Oh I hope not. lol.
After that I went to the movies. I went and saw the movie "Going the Distance" thanks to the recommendation of a friend. It really was a great movie. It just wasn't a movie for me to see by myself. At one point I wanted to yell at the screen and walk out! You can have a fucking relationship seeing each other only every 3 months!!!!!!!!!!! Ah it feels better now that I got it out. Thanks.
I went to walmart after the movie, then came home and made a quesidilla for dinner and got ready for friends to come over tomorrow night. It's going to be fun tomorrow. I can't wait to get off work and be able to come home and relax all evening with good friends.

Lap Dance and Clubbing

Last night I went to a club with Emily end some of her friends. They were all incredibly nice and I enjoyed getting to meet new people. As for the club, well I've decided I am not a fan but if invited again I would probably go. I don't know anymore. There would have been a time that I would have danced with any man who walked up behind me. I would have gotten nervous at first but enjoyed the attention. lol. Now, it felt wrong. It felt like cheating. I know it's stupid, we're taking a break, I'm single but I did say that this is not a date other people break. But dancing isn't dating, dancing is nothing more than a bit of bumping and grinding. lol. By the way Emily, I would gladly dance with you again and make all those boys drool. ;)

So I really enjoyed the people watching at the club. Um wow, ok so I like to think of myself as being in decent shape but I don't think I'd ever wear hot shorts out in public. Just wanted to get that out there. I do know now that next time I go I need to wear my grey dress that's not appropriate for regular wear. lol. So now I'll just talk about the new people I got to meet... Betsy, I knew of her in high school. She was a year ahead of me. I am dressing more like her next time. Aaron, oh if I knew him better we would have had a talk about having a girlfriend but still making some of the comments he did about girls. He seems to be really nice and fun though. Jesse, was a gentleman. He was always close behind when I would suddenly leave the dance floor and go back upstairs to sit. Thanks for keeping me company and understanding. Tim, is a great guy but if he doesn't treat my Emily right he better watch out. 7 years of karate, that's all I'm saying. Oh and I have pepper spray... somewhere. And Emily, she cracked me up! She doesn't know it yet but she's going to most definitly be giving me some tips on lap dancing. I <3>
I wanted to be asleep by midnight, that didn't happen. At least I don't have to be to work til 11:30. One of these days I really will write about work. Some things are simply more important though. Things like friends and sleep. Without my friends I would not be making it through as easily as I am right now. Thanks for not letting me mope around the house and keeping me busy so I don't have time to be sad. And without sleep... I'd be dead.
Until Next Time