I Get A Little Bit Stronger

So no, the week didn't go how I had thought it would. Then again though, when does anything ever go how I think it will? Does it make me sad? A little, but it's my own fault. lol I've allowed myself an alloted amount of time to feel this way though. I know that I need to be strong. I need to learn to control my emotions. I need to continue to mature. I can't take a step back from the progress that I've made. If I want this to work then I need to do my part and all I can expect is for him to do his.
We need to continue to work on our communication. We also need to continue to work on our relationship. We can't just sit back and not talk about things. If we continue to do that then we'll never get back to where we were. And that's all I want. I want it to be where we were right before things started getting bad. I was really happy with us then. Where we were and where we were headed. I had great things to look forward to, to plan and research for.
For now, I need to figure out these next few days. I need to figure out how to get used to being at home in the evenings. Not going to see him every night. Not knowing that for once he's just down the road instead of a thousand miles away. It's all about routine. About getting back on a schedule. Knowing that right around 9 I'll get a phone call. Knowing that if I text him after 1 I have more of a chance of getting a response quickly. It's the same as that first week or so when he is underway. It's all about knowing when I'll hear from him, that helps me make it til that time. :)
That all probably sounds really sad and sure, I am sad but it had been 7 months and no matter how much I want to believe it won't be another 7 months, I can't help but think that it will be. I think though it's kind of like when I guy does something to you that hurts you and it takes someone proving that they won't do that to you for you to believe it won't always happen. I know that sounds stupid to compare something as simple as seeing someone to that but unless you've been in my shoes you have no idea how hard it can be and how much you miss that person. There are days when you want nothing more than to be in their arms, it's not everyday but it does happen.
Blogging probably isn't the right place to put all of this. If I don't get it out somewhere though then I know it will just build up and will all come out at once. I'm trying different things to relieve my stress and anxiety. For now, this is what I'm trying.