As I was driving to school this morning, I was thinking. I was thinking that I can't cut all ties with Jeff. Being his friend may be hard right now, but I'm sure it will get easier in time. For now, I need to work on not blaming myself (I do know I did nothing wrong) and stop thinking that it is something that I can fix. If I try to "fix" it then I could lose my best friend. My heart can't handle that too. So, this is where I am right now in the grieving process I guess. If he told me today that he wanted an us again I'd tell him that he has to earn my trust again and prove to me that I'm not his second choice (please don't kill me for putting that, Emily). If he was willing to work to do that then I would, without a doubt, take him back. I still have feelings. I wasn't ready for it to be over and I don't know if I'll get used to it being over. I just knew that it wasn't healthy for me to keep waiting anymore.
So that's where I am. I'm past being really angry. I wanted to call him every name in the book and let him have it. I'm really glad that I didn't but at the time it's what I wanted to do.
By the way, I love how blogging about something that is on my mind makes me feel so much better. It doesn't matter if anyone reads it but knowing that they could, helps... at least for me.
(I wrote this out in BIO earlier today and just now had the chance to post it)
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