I should have known that I wouldn't be able to sleep after that call. There's nothing surprising there. How else should I feel though? I'm over joyed by the fact that I got a call and one that lasted just under an hour. I'm estatic to be quite honest.
At the same time though, I'm kind of down now. Yes, it does happen everytime when we're in this situation but it doesn't get easier. How could it? Not knowing when I'll get another call, not knowing what you're thinking after the call... I hate the unknown in case you couldn't tell. Luckily, I'm pretty sure the majority of people are that way. I'm trying to be more of an optimistic person. I had really thought I was doing good with it, until tonight. Maybe it's just that I'm tired and well, I don't do well emotionally when I'm tired. That's something I can't seem to change no matter how much I want to.
Back on subject though. I just don't feel like that phone conversation accomplished a single thing and I don't like that. I want to be able to say that we're moving forward and not feel like we're stuck on a plateau. I'm getting the feeling though, that that may just be me. I think he's content on the plateau. I guess we'll see eventually though.
Until Next Time
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