Disappointment. At some point in our lives we all experience it. Some of us more than others. I have been a lot recently it seems. Sometimes I feel as if I set myself up for disappointment. I disappointment myself as well as others disappointment me. I tried for a little while to not put myself in situations where I would potentially be disappointed. That's actually a lot harder than it sounds though. Then you can't really get excited about anything. That's not fun, trust me.
So what am I to do in this situation? Do I continue to let myself get disappointed which leads to being sad? Do I stop letting myself get excited over things that could potentially disappoint me? I just don't know. That seems to be the story of my life. I'm so confused right now and I don't even know where to start to work on unconfusing (I think I just made that up) myself.
Sometimes I just wish things were the way they used to be. I know that sounds dorky and childish and like a hopeless romantic, but seriously that's what I want today. I want someone to talk to, to tell about my day. I want to hear about someone else's day. I want to be able to look at the background on my phone (which I can't bring myself to change) and not feel a little sad. I know that there are different stages to accepting all of this and I really feel like in the last 2 days I've digressed. Unless of course I'm finally accepting it. I guess I don't really know. Maybe it's a good thing, but it surely doesn't feel like it. I can't even write it all out because whenever I try my mind just becomes a jumbled mess.
I love how this entry changed subjects right in the middle. lol. The point of it is to get whats on my mind off so I guess it works. I have to be at work at 6 in the morning so I guess this is going to be it for the night. I'm sure I could write a ton more though. Maybe I'll write more when I get off tomorrow.
Until Next Time.
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